Everything you want is on the other side of fear
– Jack Canfield
FEAR…..Its one of the worst problems we as humans have been facing since centuries…..It makes people do weird things. It makes people feel insecure, uncertain and anxious, it can even destroy relationships. You might be knowing so many people who would have so many different type of fears.
What to do if you face any type of fears?
There are two steps involved when you realize you are fearful of something.
Step 1: Identify the underlying cause of fear
You need to identifying why do you have that fear. You would need to do some introspection to find out the underlying core reason of that fear. This can help you in understanding the situations in which that fear can be dominant.
You would also need to understand if the fear is something small that you can manage on your own or you might also need professional help to manage it.
Step 2: Analyze whether you can manage the fear on your own or would you need professional help
- Manageable Fears
- Fears that might require professional help
Once you try understanding the situations where you feel fearful, you can write down different strategies you can use in order to counter that fear. You can also write down the names of people who can support you in conquering the fear. And then, you can ask those people for support.
I would share my experience here from my personal life. When I was doing my post graduation, I did realize that I wanted to improvise on my public speaking skills. I was good while speaking in public, but I did feel nervous at times and my throat used to go dry during such instances because of nervousness.
I visited a personal coach for advise on how I could conquer this fear of mine, he recommended me to join Toastmasters International, It is an international non profit organization for public speaking wherein the club members support each other in becoming a better public speaker. The clubs are there across the world and it has a very low fees to join it. Shortly after my meeting with the coach, I joined the club and used to go to the meetings every week. Initially I used to feel nervous while participating in impromptu speeches in the club, but I became pretty good within a few months. If anyone has fear of public speaking, I would recommend that you definitely give this a try.
How to stop living in fear? – Here is how to conquer your fears:
1. Seek Professional help
Practically, there would be some types of fear which you can conquer easily, but there might be certain types of fear in which you would be better off by visiting a professional therapist that can help you with the situation.
Just to give an example, some people have a fear of closed spaces, it is called Claustrophobia. I would never recommend using any below mentioned strategy in such a situation. It is better to meet a professional therapist for further course of action.
2. By Having Faith In Yourself
Have you ever wondered if fear is fearful of anything ? ‘Fear’ is afraid of FAITH
– In a game, If a player is fearful that he might lose the game, do you think he would be able to give it his best shot? If the player has faith in his abilities that he can win the game, he would definitely play to win and work towards winning.
You might say that it is easier said than done. When a person is fearful, it becomes difficult for the person to be positive and have faith. It might also be a scenario where a person might feel confident in other aspects of his life and might fear some particular type of situation. Faith is something that can be developed with practice. I would agree that yes, it might be difficult initially to be fearless, but if the person implements strategies that can help him/her, then gradually with time, the person can become more confident and can have less fear.
Here is a list of 11 ways how you can start your day with a positive attitude.
Faith has great powers in it. Faith can move mountains. Fight fear by having faith. If you have faith in yourself that everything is going to turn out good for you and that you are going to achieve your goals, If you have built enough faith, then even if any obstacle comes in your path, you would be able to conquer it. You may or may not conquer all your fears at the same, but you can try working on them one by one.
There is an acronym for Fear : False Evidence Appearing Real
As I said above, all of us have some kind of fears. Being very honest, I also used to be fearful of certain situations. I have been in the habit of reading books. There is one book which really helped me in strengthening my faith. It is “The Power of Positive Thinking” by Norman Vincent Peale. It is one of the international best sellers of all time. If you want to read this book, you can try the kindle version or get it from amazon. In case, you want to go for the audio version, this is also available on audible.
This book mentions this verse from Bible:
If ye have faith, nothing shall be impossible unto you.
In simple English, it would be: If you have faith, everything shall be possible to you.
Its just a matter of having faith, having belief in yourself. Whatever fear you have, just remove it by filling your mind with thoughts of FAITH.
3. By Using Affirmations
Affirmations are positive auto suggestions that a person gives to himself throughout the day. Unknowingly, we keep giving ourselves suggestions on whether we would be able to do something or not. A normal person's daily routine might involve scenarios wherein the person gives himself positive as well as negative auto suggestions.
It is generally said, that a person's behavior is a sum total of his daily thoughts. Using affirmations can help you in overcoming your fear and stay positive. Daily affirmations help in cultivating a positive attitude and can take a person on a successful journey. If you want, you can check out the article I wrote about seven secrets of success.
For effective results, positive affirmations need to be repeated for at least 21 days in a row (preferably twice a day : just after waking up in the morning and just before sleeping at night).
For example, You can tell yourself that your opinion matters to you more than the opinion of others. Then you can say a positive affirmation to yourself that
My opinion of myself matters the most to me.
Repeating this affirmation would help you develop faith in yourself and have faith in your opinions. This would help you in gaining confidence.
You are a unique historic event in yourself. There is no one on the whole planet quite like you and they can never be, even if they try to. No one can be you as efficiently as you can be !!
4. By Using Visualization
Visualization is a process which helps in manifestation of your dreams. It helps make your dreams a reality. It is a process wherein a person generally sits in silence, preferably at a location where she would not be disturbed, then the person would close her eyes and imagine that whatever he wants to accomplish has already been accomplished. The person tries to imagine and feel the accomplishment in detail. By using this technique on a daily basis, the person begins to attract his dreams and they start manifesting into reality.
It is not necessary to sit on a yoga mat to do visualization, a person can do it while sitting on a sofa or chair as well.
5. By Doing Meditation
Meditation is a process that helps you be more aware about your inner thoughts. It creates a positive energy when you meditation. This is something that can definitely help overcome fears. We at BetterAuds have written in detail about it. Here are the links:
Here is what you can do to manage some common types of fear:
What to do If you have fear of rejection?
As I mentioned, the first step is finding out the underlying cause for this fear. Fear of rejection might be because of lack of confidence. Lack of confidence might itself have several underlying causes.
For example, it might be due to:
- Issues faced during childhood
- A low self esteem
- Lack of preparation
If it is because of a low self esteem or because of issues faced during your childhood, then you might need professional help to solve these.
If it is due to lack of preparation, then you can try some strategies where in you can improve your preparation, That might help you in overcoming the fear.
For example, if you have to prepare a presentation and give it to your boss, you might have fear of rejection that your boss might not like your ideas during the presentation. You might want to work on improving your knowledge base on the subject of the presentation and do extensive research and present facts along with citations. Doing this preparation can help you improve your confidence levels and you would be able to have faith in your abilities since you would have done the hard work required for it. If you do this, it might be difficult for others to reject your ideas since you would be backing them up with research.
What to do If you have fear of failure ?
First of all, you would need to identify the underlying cause. Once you do that, it would be easier to conquer the fear. You can use either Affirmations or Visualization to overcome your fears.
Imagine yourself as succeeding. Try doing it repeatedly. Tell yourself that you would always succeed no matter what, and if you do that repeatedly, all your fears would vanish away. Even after then, if you fail, then remember –
I believe in myself. I have faith in me.
I have faith in me that I can achieve all my goals.
I have faith that my life is becoming beautiful with each passing day.
This moment is the first moment of the rest of my life !!