Careers are often advanced over meals, and first impressions can influence opportunities long before any business begins. In The Business of Dining: A Guide to Making a Five-Star Impression, Debbie von Ahrens shares what she has learned in restaurants and in television sales and turns it into practical advice for anyone who wants to feel at ease at a client dinner, a networking event, or an interview lunch.
Confidence at the Table Is Not a Matter of Privilege
Her starting point is simple: success at the table has very little to do with privilege and everything to do with confidence. Plenty of capable people have never been taught the unwritten rules of dining, networking, and hospitality. So when an invitation to a business dinner arrives, they worry about ordering the wrong dish, choosing the wrong wine, or making a mistake in front of clients or colleagues.
The book answers those worries with clear, usable guidance. Readers learn how to order food and wine, make sense of menus and culinary terms, handle table settings, utensils, and stemware, manage tipping, and host lunches and dinners with grace. It also explains restaurant service from the front-of-house perspective, which helps diners appreciate how much work has gone on behind the scenes on their behalf.
Just as important, the book looks well beyond table manners. Listening, conversation, and professional presence all get attention, because first impressions can shape opportunities before business even begins. The advice is aimed at anyone, from a person heading off to college or starting a first job to a seasoned executive entertaining clients. Judges have taken notice too, naming it a winner of the 2024 Best Independent Book Award and awarding it Bronze in the Business Life category at the 2024 Global Book Awards.
A Career Spent on Both Sides of the Table
That outlook grew out of two very different careers. The first began in 1978, when Debbie was a newly transferred NYU student who needed a job to cover school and living expenses. The search led her through the gold revolving doors of One Fifth, a chic Greenwich Village restaurant, where she went on to become the first female wine captain.
Her second career was in television advertising, where she rose to Vice President and Director of Sales for FOX5 New York and MY9 before retiring. Spending time with clients and company executives, listening to their conversations, and watching how they interacted was an education in itself, and she learned that the more clients she knew, the more valuable she was to the company.
Nearly forty years after those first restaurant shifts, retirement brought her back to hospitality. There she worked at Augustine, helped reopen Balthazar after the pandemic, and later helped launch Chef Marc Forgione’s new One Fifth. What struck her most was how many talented people seemed to freeze at the table, not because they lacked manners, but because nobody had ever explained the unwritten rules to them.
Her stories show how that knowledge is gained. One of the most memorable involves a first sushi lunch with a colleague named Mark. They ordered a combo plate to solve the ordering question, and then Mark put a large green piece into his mouth. It was wasabi, and servers rushed over with sugar packets, because water would only have spread the spice. Afterward, the two of them asked a lot more questions about what they were eating.
About the Author
Debbie von Ahrens spent much of her career in television advertising and also worked in celebrated New York City restaurants, including One Fifth, Balthazar, and Augustine. Today she shares her expertise through corporate seminars and workshops on business dining confidence, networking strategies, and professional presence.
Dining With Confidence, One Table at a Time
A wonderful meal, as Debbie sees it, is never just about the food. It is about the people gathered around the table, and the table itself can be a place to build relationships, mark life’s milestones, and create memorable moments. Readers can choose how they prefer to study: The Business of Dining is available in hardcover, paperback, Kindle and audiobook editions. For anyone who wants to walk into the next restaurant prepared and relaxed, it is a practical place to begin.
We had the privilege of interviewing Debbie von Ahrens. Here are excerpts from the interview:
Please introduce yourself and tell us what you do.
I’m Debbie von Ahrens, author of the award-winning The Business of Dining: A Guide to Making a Five-Star Impression. My career has taken me from some of New York City’s most celebrated restaurants to nearly 30 years in broadcast advertising, where I retired as Vice President, Director of Sales for FOX5 and MY9 in New York.
Please tell us about your journey.
I began working at One Fifth in 1978 before moving into television advertising in 1980. After nearly 30 years in broadcasting, I returned to hospitality at Augustine, helped reopen Balthazar after the pandemic, and later helped launch Chef Marc Forgione’s new One Fifth.
Those experiences gave me a unique perspective from both sides of the table—as someone serving guests and as a business executive entertaining clients. I realized how much confidence, communication, and relationships matter when dining.
What strategies helped you become successful?
Being prepared, paying attention to details, treating people with respect, and understanding that relationships are built through genuine connections. Whether in advertising or hospitality, making people feel comfortable and valued has always been important to me.
Any message for our readers?
Dining is about much more than food. Knowing how to navigate a menu, understand service, use utensils correctly, and handle the unexpected allows you to relax and enjoy the experience. Confidence at the table is a learned skill, and anyone can master it.
That’s what I hope readers take away from The Business of Dining.
Thank you so much, Debbie, for giving us your precious time! We wish you all the best for your journey ahead!