“With Thoughts of Jason” by Caleb A. Mertz Is the LGBTQ+ Novel Everyone Should Read This Year

A Story That Burns with Honesty

In With Thoughts of Jason, Caleb A. Mertz captures the kind of story that breathes, aches, and asks to be understood. It’s the story of Jason, a teenager who’s been forced to live behind walls built by fear and judgment. In his small town, being different is dangerous, and silence is often the only way to stay safe. But silence has its own cost, and Caleb makes that tension the beating heart of this powerful novel.

When Jason is outed by his best friend, the fragile sense of control he’s been clinging to shatters. The betrayal cuts deep, but it also pushes him toward a new kind of freedom—one filled with pain, friendship, and the chance to finally live without apology. He finds himself surrounded by people who refuse to fit in: Tameera, bold and brutally honest; Abby, protective to the core; and Danny, whose charm pulls Jason toward something he’s both afraid of and desperate for.

Together, they create a small world of belonging amid the cruelty. Their nights hum with music and fleeting joy, even as the threat of exposure lurks in the background. Caleb gives this group of outsiders the complexity they deserve, showing how laughter and love can coexist with trauma and fear. Jason’s connection with Danny, in particular, feels electric—charged with the wild hope that maybe love can exist even when the world insists it shouldn’t.

But safety is fragile. When Jason uncovers a dark secret about the boy who tormented him, the story turns toward something even more dangerous. Every choice Jason makes has weight, and every truth revealed comes with consequences that ripple through his life.

Writing That Cuts Straight to the Soul

Caleb’s storytelling is intimate and fearless. His prose flows with emotion, weaving tension and tenderness into every scene. He lets readers feel every quiet heartbreak and every fleeting moment of joy. Jason’s thoughts move between yearning and despair, and the reader follows him through both with empathy and unease.

The novel carries echoes of A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara and The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky, yet it stands entirely on its own. Caleb’s focus is on how people survive when the world refuses to see them. He gives Jason a voice that feels raw, confused, and utterly real. The result is a story that feels less like fiction and more like a lived experience.

Each supporting character adds texture and meaning. Tameera’s defiance, Abby’s devotion, and Danny’s recklessness create a delicate balance of personalities that highlight Jason’s struggle to belong. Through their friendships, Caleb explores loyalty and vulnerability with rare precision. Even in the novel’s darkest moments, there’s light—small, human, and fiercely alive.

What makes Caleb’s writing resonate is his understanding that hope lives beside pain. Readers can feel that truth in every line. The novel asks them to sit with discomfort, to acknowledge how love and loss often arrive hand in hand.

From the Kitchen Floor to the Classroom

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Caleb’s own journey gives the story even more depth. Before becoming an author and scholar, he worked in restaurants, managing teams and learning how people hide their stories behind everyday routines. Those experiences taught him about human resilience and the quiet battles people fight when no one’s watching.

Now a PhD candidate in comparative literature at the University of California, San Diego, Caleb approaches writing with both craft and compassion. He returned to school because he wanted to create stories that matter—ones that leave readers changed. His desire to tell better, bolder stories grew from a lifelong fascination with writing that started in second grade. His first story, about an evil elf sabotaging Christmas, might sound playful, but even then he was drawn to tension, drama, and redemption.

Writers like Ernest Hemingway, James Baldwin, and Walt Whitman shaped his voice. You can sense Baldwin’s honesty in the moral weight of his themes and Hemingway’s influence in his precision. Yet Caleb’s storytelling feels entirely his own—modern, cinematic, and deeply emotional.

A Novel That Lingers Long After the Last Page

With Thoughts of Jason is a mirror held up to a society that still struggles with acceptance. Caleb writes about fear and love with the same tenderness, reminding readers that visibility can be both a wound and a weapon.

Jason’s journey feels personal because it speaks to something universal: the need to be seen. Through heartbreak and revelation, the novel shows that truth, even when it hurts, is the only way forward. Readers will find themselves reflecting on their own definitions of courage and belonging.

Caleb has written a story that challenges, moves, and heals. It’s the kind of novel that sticks with readers, urging them to listen a little closer, love a little harder, and never underestimate the power of being true to yourself.

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