A Mind Buried Beneath Its Own Weight
Merrill Crowley embalms the dead for a living—but no one ever taught him how to bury his own mind. At just twenty-seven, he walks through the world like a shadow, a man tangled in grief and memory. The Forest That Merrill Grew by D.P. Scuderi opens the door to a mind on the brink. It’s not just a story—it’s an immersion into the fractured consciousness of someone who’s lost everything and everyone, including himself.
The novel drifts between the real and the imagined, and readers quickly learn that Merrill’s greatest threat isn’t outside of him—it’s within. His days are spent tending to the bodies of the departed, his nights unraveling under the weight of a tragedy he can’t name out loud. When silence finally begins to speak, it takes the shape of Ritz—his shadow, his conscience, his other self. Together, they descend into a place where reason blurs, and death starts to look like mercy.
Through haunting prose and a hypnotic rhythm, Scuderi captures that quiet chaos—the way grief echoes when it has nowhere to go. Merrill’s world isn’t just eerie; it’s intimate. Readers feel the cold metal of the embalming table, the loneliness of late-night whispers, and the ache of memories that refuse to die.
From Pain to Purpose
For D.P. Scuderi, this book isn’t just fiction—it’s survival. “What started as my suicide note eventually developed into what I would consider my magnum opus,” he confesses. Those words aren’t dramatic—they’re honest. The story began in darkness, but it evolved into light. In every page, there’s a pulse of sincerity, a raw confession disguised as horror.
Scuderi admits that The Forest That Merrill Grew was born from his own suffering. It became his diary, his therapy, his act of vulnerability. Writing it was both an exorcism and a homecoming—painful, but necessary. “Revisiting some chapters was extremely difficult,” he says, “for they were birthed from a very real and personal place.”
That truth is what gives the book its power. It’s easy to write about madness. It’s harder to live it—and then put it on paper. Scuderi does both. His goal isn’t to glorify despair, but to pull it into the light. He writes for those who are drowning quietly, for the ones who smile while breaking inside. Especially men, he says, who often fight their battles behind closed doors. His message to them: don’t give up.
The Message Beneath the Madness
Amid the hallucinations and the horror, there’s something else breathing inside The Forest That Merrill Grew—hope. It’s subtle, hidden between the lines, but it’s there. “Pain is temporary,” Scuderi writes, “and only lasts as long as you let it.” It’s a reminder that despair is a liar, and even the darkest nights end eventually.
Merrill’s story becomes a mirror for anyone who’s ever felt invisible. It asks a painful question: Who are you, when no one’s watching? And though Merrill’s journey twists through delusion and death, there’s still a flicker of light guiding him—a whisper that salvation might still be possible.
Scuderi’s voice is unfiltered and deeply human. He tells readers that paradise is worth fighting for—that every scar has meaning. His words reach out like a hand in the dark, steady and warm. “We are all stars in the night sky,” he writes. “The one you look up to is looking down at you through the same lens. You crossing paths is not a matter of if—it’s when.”
That sentiment lingers long after the final page. It turns the book from a story into an experience. A confession. A quiet promise that healing is real.
About the Author
D.P. Scuderi isn’t just an author—he’s a survivor. Born and raised in Long Island, New York, he spent over four years in the mortuary field, living among the dead to better understand life. Now residing in Wake Forest, North Carolina, Scuderi has turned his experiences into art. The Forest That Merrill Grew marks his fourth book—a culmination of years spent balancing the weight of sorrow with the craft of storytelling.
At twenty-nine, he writes with a voice both weary and wise. There’s no pretense, no polish—just truth. Every word feels earned. And in that truth, readers find comfort, courage, and connection.
Scuderi ends his note with a message that feels like a heartbeat:
“I love you more than I did yesterday, but never as much as I will tomorrow.”
Those words, simple yet immense, capture everything The Forest That Merrill Grew stands for—grief, growth, and the stubborn, luminous beauty of being alive.
So, when you pick up this book, don’t expect an easy read. Expect honesty. Expect pain. Expect to walk into a mind that’s splintered, but still searching for light. Because somewhere inside Merrill’s forest—between the ghosts and the guilt—you’ll find the reminder that even when life feels unbearable, hope still breathes.
The Forest That Merrill Grew is available on Amazon, Goodreads, Apple Books, and Barnes & Noble.
We had the privilege of interviewing D.P. Scuderi. Here are excerpts from the interview:
Hi, thank you so much for joining us today! Please tell us about yourself.
Greetings, I’m the author of The Forest That Merrill Grew. I was born and raised in Long Island, NY, for 26 years, and I now reside in Wake Forest, NC. I’m 29 years old, and for the past four and a half years, have been heavily involved in the Mortuary field for the sole purpose of writing this fictional novel, my 4th book.
Please tell us about your journey.
In desiring to obtain deeper knowledge in the mortuary field, gaining a more intimate understanding of death, this novel was my primary goal, my ultimate passion. The accuracy of everything involving the embalming side of things, these aspects were extremely important to me. I admire the gritty truth when it comes to telling a story.
What are the strategies that helped you become successful in your journey?
Always be curious; research is key. Ask questions. Get your hands dirty and do not be afraid to push boundaries. Best piece of advise I’ve received is to treat your written work as if it were a diary entry, that no one will ever read it. Pour your heart and soul onto the page. Go against the grain, and do not be afraid to write something absolutely wild and crazy. Study movies, music, books, and artworks that truly speak to you; there is a reason they stand out to you, so utilize that. Dissect and strip it down to its finest details and try to get into the head of these artists. Don’t replicate what you find; use it to inspire you to create something completely new and something that no one has ever seen before. Scare not only your audience, but yourself.
Any message for our readers?
What started as my suicide note eventually developed into what I would consider my magnum opus. To you, I implore— never give up on hope, for salvation may be just around the corner. I was the last person who thought that would happen to, and I promise you: not that it can— it will happen to you as well. Never give up on yourself, and always strive to become the best version of yourself that only you can make exist. Never succumb to sadness, for it is only a delusion. Pain is temporary, and only lasts as long as you let it. This was a piece of work written by a person who suffered from the same ugly thoughts— so it’s possible. Just like you breaking free from underneath the invisible boundary line separating you from your personal heaven. Paradise is worth fighting for, and I am living proof of that. We are all stars in the night sky, and the one you look up to is looking down at you through the same lens. You crossing paths is not a matter of if, it’s when.
Thank you so much for giving us your precious time! We wish you all the best for your journey ahead!
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