Starting again in love can bring a surprising mix of curiosity, nerves and hope. For people navigating dating after 40, familiar questions often arrive with fresh emotional weight.
Encore: The best is yet to come, by Susannah Schofield OBE and Johnny Nelson MBE, gives those questions room to breathe through candid conversations about relationships, confidence and desire.
Finding the Courage to Begin Again
Life after heartbreak or divorce can feel strangely unfamiliar. Daily routines change. Confidence may need rebuilding. The possibility of meeting someone new can spark excitement alongside uncertainty, especially when previous relationships have left a lasting impression.
Encore speaks to this stage with warmth and a willingness to explore the awkward details. Its central idea is encouraging: the next chapter of someone’s romantic life can still hold discovery, pleasure, and meaningful connection.
Susannah and Johnny approach the subject through their own experiences of vulnerability and beginning again. Their perspectives give the book a conversational character, allowing readers to encounter different ways of thinking about the same emotional territory.
There’s particular comfort in acknowledging that people of the same age can lead remarkably different lives. One person may be adjusting to grandparenthood while another is raising young children. Someone else may be entering a new relationship, celebrating a long marriage or learning to enjoy their own company.
The book makes space for those varied timelines. Readers are invited to consider their circumstances with greater patience and to recognise that curiosity about love can remain part of life at every stage.
That perspective may resonate with anyone who feels pressure to have relationships figured out by a certain birthday. Experience brings its own questions, and a fresh beginning often calls for time, self-awareness and the courage to admit what someone wants now.
Two Perspectives on the Questions That Matter
Across fourteen chapters, Encore begins with real, uncomfortable questions and gives each author the opportunity to answer separately. This structure creates room for individual experience, differing opinions, and moments of agreement.
The subjects include dating, sex, heartbreak, confidence and desire. Together, they reflect the practical and emotional concerns that can surface when someone considers opening their life to another person again.
Susannah and Johnny’s separate responses are central to the book’s appeal. Readers can follow each perspective, consider where it connects with their own experiences, and make room for ideas they may have overlooked.
Humour also has a place in these conversations. Dating later in life comes with everyday awkwardness, shifting expectations and moments that become easier to discuss when someone is willing to smile at them. The book’s frank approach gives these experiences a human scale.
Psychological case studies are woven throughout, adding context to the personal reflections. Their inclusion supports the book’s invitation to recognise difficult feelings as experiences that others share. Readers have space to think about their emotional responses without expecting immediate answers.
Encore grew out of Noir, a members’ club focused on dating and intimacy for the over-40s. That connection places the book within a wider conversation about companionship and starting over.
Published by Perkins Press, it’s available in Kindle and paperback editions on Amazon, giving readers a choice of formats for exploring these conversations at their own pace.
About Authors
Susannah is an entrepreneur, published author, BBC Radio contributor, and the founder of Noir. Her work with the club reflects an interest in helping people navigate dating and intimacy during the second half of life. She brings personal experience of endings, uncertainty, desire and renewed beginnings to the book.
Johnny is the longest-reigning WBO cruiserweight world champion of all time and a recognisable voice on Sky Sports Boxing. He has also spoken openly about mental health and the emotional experiences beneath a public-facing career. His contribution brings vulnerability and personal reflection into discussions of relationships.
Together, Susannah and Johnny offer two distinct voices shaped by lived experience. Their willingness to address sensitive questions gives Encore its approachable tone and encourages readers to reflect honestly on their own hopes.
Leaving Room for What Comes Next
Encore: The best is yet to come offers an inviting starting point for anyone wondering how love might fit into their next chapter.
Through humor, openness, and two individual perspectives, Susannah and Johnny encourage readers to give their questions attention and their hopes room to grow.
We had the privilege of interviewing the author. Here are excerpts from the interview:
Thank you so much for joining us today! Please introduce yourself and tell us what you do.
I’m Susannah Schofield OBE, an author, businesswoman, speaker and founder of Noir. I’ve had quite a varied career. I spent 15 years at Royal Mail, ultimately as Sales & Commercial Director, and today I’m Director General of the Direct Selling Association UK & Ireland. I’ve always been fascinated by people, entrepreneurship and what makes us tick. But the latest chapter of my life is perhaps the most personal. I’m the founder of Noir, a new wellbeing and community platform created for people navigating the realities of life after 40, and I’m also the co-author of Encore, a book about relationships, identity, dating and starting again in midlife. At 51, I’m certainly not interested in slowing down. If anything, I think I’m just getting started.
Please tell us about your story and journey.
Like so many people, the life I have today isn’t necessarily the life I imagined I would have. I’ve built businesses, had a successful corporate career, raised two daughters, received an OBE, and experienced some incredible highs professionally. But I’ve also been through separation, major life changes, and those moments where you suddenly have to stop and ask yourself: Who am I now? That question became increasingly important to me. When relationships change, children become more independent, our bodies change, careers evolve, and we reach a different stage of life, it can feel as though society expects us to quietly settle down. I don’t believe that for a second. I became fascinated by what happens next. What happens to love? Sex? Confidence? Ambition? Identity? Dating? Friendship? And how do you rediscover yourself when you’ve spent decades being somebody’s partner, somebody’s parent, or fulfilling a professional role? Those conversations eventually became Encore and, on a much bigger scale, Noir.
What inspired you to write Encore?
I wanted to write the book I couldn’t find. There are plenty of books telling us how to survive divorce, how to date, or how to navigate menopause, but real life doesn’t conveniently happen in separate categories. You might be dealing with children leaving home while your marriage is changing. Your career might be thriving while your confidence has disappeared. You might feel fantastic professionally but terrified about taking your clothes off in front of somebody new. And you can be incredibly successful and still have absolutely no idea how to send a dating message! Encore is about those contradictions. It’s an honest conversation about what it means to start again, particularly after 40, and the baggage, humour, mistakes, sex, relationships, confidence and opportunity that come with it. The title says everything for me. The first act isn’t the whole performance. There can absolutely be an encore.
How did the idea for Noir grow from that?
Writing and talking about these subjects made something very obvious to me: people don’t just need information. They need somewhere to belong. That’s why I created Noir. The principle behind it is very simple: find yourself before you find others. Noir isn’t simply a dating platform. Dating comes later. We are beginning with wellbeing, education, expert support, and community. Someone might come to Noir because their marriage has ended. Someone else might be navigating menopause, loneliness, body confidence, intimacy or children leaving home. Another person might simply wake up one morning and think, I’ve spent years looking after everybody else. What do I want now? You don’t need to be ready for another relationship. You just need to be ready to invest in yourself.
Why do you believe something like Noir is needed now?
Because there is an enormous, vibrant group of people in their 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond who I don’t think are being spoken to properly. We’re not finished. We’re not invisible. And we’re certainly not all sitting at home waiting to grow old gracefully! We’re starting businesses, travelling, dating, having sex, falling in love, getting divorced, changing careers and completely reinventing ourselves. But we’re also navigating some difficult things, and often doing it quite privately. Noir creates a grown-up, trusted environment where we can talk honestly about the subjects that matter, including relationships, confidence, sex, intimacy, health, wellbeing and starting again. I want people to come into Noir and have that wonderful feeling of: “Oh thank goodness. It’s not just me.”
What do you think people get wrong about starting again later in life?
That starting again means you’ve failed. I completely reject that. A relationship ending doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship was a failure. A career change doesn’t mean the previous career was wasted. Realising at 50 that you want something different doesn’t invalidate the first 50 years. You’ve learnt. You’ve changed. Hopefully you’ve become a little braver and much clearer about what you will and won’t accept. We talk about baggage as though it’s automatically negative. At this age, of course we’ve got baggage. We’ve lived! The important question is whether you’re carrying your baggage thoughtfully or asking somebody new to carry it for you.
What have you learnt about relationships and dating after 40?
Chemistry still matters enormously. I don’t think we’re ever too old for butterflies. But hopefully we become better at understanding that chemistry and compatibility aren’t necessarily the same thing. When we’re younger, we can build a life together from scratch. Later, two established lives are trying to come together. There may be children, ex-partners, careers, homes, financial independence, and decades of experience involved. That’s complicated. But I also think dating later in life can be incredibly exciting because you have an opportunity to choose differently. The challenge is knowing yourself well enough to recognise what you actually want rather than simply repeating what you’ve always known.
Noir talks quite openly about sex and intimacy. Why was that important to you?
Because we’re grown-ups and sex doesn’t suddenly disappear when you turn 40. Yet there is still an extraordinary embarrassment around talking about desire, intimacy, changing bodies, menopause, erectile difficulties, confidence, and what we actually want sexually. I want Noir to approach those conversations intelligently and without sensationalising them. Intimacy is part of wellbeing. Feeling desirable, connected and comfortable in your own body matters. And sometimes simply discovering that other people are experiencing exactly the same thing can be enormously reassuring.
What are the strategies that helped you become successful in your journey?
Resilience, curiosity, and being prepared to change direction. I’ve never believed that success comes from having one perfect plan and following it relentlessly. Some of the most important things I’ve done have happened because the original plan didn’t work. I’ve also learnt not to be frightened of starting again. I ask questions. I surround myself with people who know things I don’t. I listen to advice, but ultimately I’m prepared to make a decision and take responsibility for it. And perhaps most importantly, I keep moving. You can spend years waiting until you’re completely ready. Sometimes you have to start walking and trust yourself to work out the route along the way.
What does success mean to you now compared with when you were younger?
It’s changed enormously. When I was younger, success was much easier to measure: job titles, targets, money, recognition and the next promotion. Those things still matter, but they’re not enough anymore. At this stage of my life, success is freedom. It’s meaningful work, extraordinary experiences, my daughters, good people around me, laughter, intimacy, health, and being excited about what’s coming next. Success now is being able to look at my life and recognise myself in it.
What do you hope readers take away from Encore?
Permission. Permission to change your mind. Permission to want more. Permission to leave something that no longer works, to fall in love again, to have great sex, to reinvent yourself, to be ambitious, to be vulnerable, to make mistakes and occasionally have absolutely no idea what you’re doing. You don’t have to have your entire future mapped out. You just have to believe there is still a future worth getting excited about. That’s what Encore means to me.
What is your ultimate ambition for Noir?
I want Noir to become the trusted community for navigating later life. Not somewhere you visit only when something has gone wrong, but somewhere that helps you make what’s next even better. I want incredible experts sharing genuinely useful knowledge. I want conversations people aren’t having elsewhere. I want friendships and communities to form. And eventually, for those who want it, I want genuine romantic connections too. But I never want Noir to lose the human element. Technology can introduce us. Content can educate us. Experts can guide us. But ultimately people need people. Real Connections. Real Confidence. Real Chemistry. That’s what we’re building.
What message would you give to our readers?
Please don’t write yourself off because you’ve reached a certain age or because life hasn’t gone according to plan. Some chapters end. Sometimes painfully. But an ending creates space. You are allowed to decide that you want something different. You are allowed to rediscover who you are. And you are absolutely allowed to believe that some of the most exciting experiences, relationships, and achievements of your life haven’t happened yet. Don’t fear the next chapter. Make it your Encore.
Thank you so much, Susannah, for giving us your precious time! We wish you all the best for your journey ahead!