Relationships and Reclaiming Personal Energy
Rora, founder of the Young in Gold Blog, realized in her early forties just how much of her life revolved around men. Day in and day out, she focused on meeting their needs—cooking, doing laundry, tidying up spaces, and ensuring every request was fulfilled. Over time, she noticed how this constant giving left her with little energy for herself. Though she once believed that tending to others was simply the way things were, she later recognized that such patterns came at a personal cost. In hindsight, she marvels at how long she maintained that level of self-sacrifice, even feeling drained now when she looks back on it.
She acknowledges that these habits were not exclusive to her. She observed many women in her life similarly pouring their energy into partners, sometimes at the expense of their own goals. Even in relationships that were not always fulfilling, it felt normal to remain devoted simply because it was the pattern she had grown accustomed to. As she moved forward, she began questioning why she had prioritized external needs over her own sense of well-being and self-discovery.
Breaking Free of Old Beliefs
Rora’s determination to break free from limiting ideas reached a turning point once she was over fifty. She realized that, had she directed the same amount of energy toward her own ambitions, she might have achieved substantial success—perhaps even becoming, as she lightheartedly puts it, a “damn millionaire.” Rather than dwelling in regret or harboring resentment toward men, she now views these past experiences as stepping stones. She appreciates the good in each relationship and acknowledges that the lessons learned have shaped who she is today.
Still, there were times she saw red flags and stayed, dreading the emotional turmoil that might follow if she walked away. In other cases, she gathered the courage to leave, which brought its own challenges, including waves of numbness or instability. Through these highs and lows, she realized that the key to a healthier path was to rewrite the narrative of how she related to herself and others. By identifying where she veered off course, she found renewed inspiration to move forward.
Finding True Balance
An essential step in Rora’s transformation came when she trained to be an IIN Holistic Health Coach. She learned about “primary foods,” referring to core life elements such as physical activity, relationships, career, and spirituality. If any of these are neglected, people can resort to emotional eating or other unhealthy coping mechanisms. This concept resonated strongly with Rora, prompting her to scrutinize her own habits, especially around food cravings, and how they related to feelings of emptiness or instability.
In time, she recognized that she had relied on external relationships to mask inner discomfort and hurt. Devoting so much emphasis to men acted as a convenient distraction from her own traumas. Yet she came to see that this was a temporary remedy at best. Real comfort and peace emerged only when she allowed herself to invest in personal projects—whether delving into creative outlets or embracing opportunities to explore her passions.
Embracing Empowerment and Connection
One of the most profound shifts in Rora’s life stemmed from building a strong support network. She credits an older woman she met in her thirties who, despite initially being brushed aside, ultimately became a pivotal mentor. This mentor’s influence underscored the miraculous results that can arise when women unite and learn from one another. By expanding her circle, Rora discovered that sharing experiences often leads to deeper healing and personal growth.
Today, she joyfully invests in herself without guilt or apology. She devotes energy to three core projects, one of which is her blog—a reflection of her rejuvenated sense of purpose. Although she remains in a romantic relationship, it no longer defines her identity. Her partner now complements who she is rather than consuming her attention and sense of self.
By prioritizing her own needs, Rora has unlocked an inner richness she once thought impossible. She refers to it as a new form of “fertility,” rooted in creativity, self-love, and balanced living. As founder of the Young in Gold Blog, she wants others to know that it is never too late to pivot and discover how to better nurture themselves. Every experience—whether joyful or difficult—can be part of an ongoing quest to embrace and redefine age, relationships, and personal health.
This, in her words, is “younging it,” a phrase she coined to describe living with vitality and optimism beyond the age of forty-two. By sharing her journey and practical insights, she inspires readers to ask their own important questions about aging and growth. Her story illustrates that balance is not a one-time achievement but rather an ever-evolving dance of priorities and self-awareness. Ultimately, Rora believes that by first caring for one’s own energy, individuals become better equipped to serve the people and projects that truly matter in life.