Do you often find yourself thinking way too much about people’s opinions, agreeing with them even if you don’t want to, or apologizing for things that are not even your fault?
Then you might be a people pleaser.
Do you think you are not?
Well, you might not want to please everybody, but sometimes, you just want to please certain people. Whether it’s your parents, friends, or your partner, you just can’t bear to see them upset. However, sometimes people-pleasing can stop you from loving and trusting yourself. There is a thin line between being a good person and presenting yourself to other’s advantage.
Pleasing people might make you feel like a better human being, but what about being yourself?
If you often hear from your genuine friends that you do too much for people, then it’s high time you stop concentrating on other people’s desires, wishes, and demands and start pleasing yourself instead.
Here are ten signs that you will relate to if you are a people pleaser:
1. You feel obliged to agree with people
If you are a people pleaser, you will often find yourself agreeing with people just because you don’t want to upset them. Well, the truth is that people are not always going to like your opinion and it’s totally fine. If you don’t agree with someone’s idea, then you don’t need to nod and obey. What you truly need is to stand firm and strong on your own beliefs and feel obliged to them only.
2. You are afraid of being left out
Another sign that you are a people pleaser is that you try very hard to fit in. You please people so that they will like you. But why would you want to be with people you don’t like for who you are. You don’t need to please people to be a part of any social gathering. Embrace yourself and be who YOU are.
3. You seek validation in other people
People who like to please others are more than often looking for validation. They want other people to think that they are nice, helpful, and sensitive. While in reality, if you are any of those things, you don’t need validation from anybody. Only you should know that you are a good person, and that should be enough.
4. You feel responsible for other people’s happiness
Or you are a really very good person and want to keep everybody happy. Well, here’s a tip for you: you can’t keep everybody happy. Why? Because if you will keep trying to make other people happy. You will never have time to concentrate on your happiness. Put your happiness above all.
5. People’s opinion matter to you
You care a lot about what people are thinking about you. You want to be likable and fit to other people’s standards. Well, again, you CANNOT live up to everybody’s expectations. The more you try to fit, the higher the bar goes.
6. You alter your personality in front of people
When you try too hard to fit in, you start losing your personality. You become a mere reflection of people who you want to be with. Try less, be who you are, and stop pleasing people by molding yourself into their stature.
7. Saying NO is hard
While you may think this is only because you are a nice person, this is also a sign that you like to please people. You are nice to do something for someone, but you should say No politely when it’s too much trouble for you. If they are really your friends, they will understand.
8. You say Sorry more often than you should
Apologizing for more than you should is another sign of being a people pleaser. You don’t need to say sorry when it’s not your fault. Don’t apologize just because you don’t want to upset them.
9. You avoid conflict
The reason why you say sorry more than you should is probably because you avoid conflict. You don’t want to upset or anger anybody, even if it’s their fault. Well, sometimes, it’s okay to have arguments, to disagree, and guess what? It’s okay to be a part of the conflict.
10. You value others more than yourself
All of the mentioned things are possible only when you value yourself less. You underestimate yourself and spend your energy on pleasing people who don’t even matter.
If you recognize all the above signs, try conquering them. Value yourself more and know that you are a good person regardless of what people think about you. Stop proving to people and start proving to yourself that you are nothing less than great.